Today I want to say a few words about friendship. I've spent a considerable amount of time lately thinking about my friends and really taking a look at the different types of relationships I have with them. While I haven't come up with anything truly profound to say about friendship, I must say I am amazed at the diversity of the relationships I have with friends.
Some of my friendships began when I was four or five. I managed to make friends in kindergarten that have stuck with me throughout the rest of my life. Those friendships have stood the test of time and I know I will never lose them. I have other friendships that began in middle school or high school. I am just as close to many of these friends because we helped one another as we blossomed from awkward, self-conscience children into adulthood. Some of these friendships have been tried and tested through distance. When someone moved away or we all went off to college, the weaker of the friendships slipped through the cracks. Others lasted. Some of those took more effort than others; with some, letters, emails, and phone calls kept us in touch regularly. With others, we may not have heard from one another in months but a holiday gathering proved that our love for one another was still strong and in no danger.
Methods for making new friends tend to shift with age. Once you are out of school it isn't as easy to find friends whose lifestyles and ideals mesh with yours. For this reason, I appreciate the friendships I have made as an adult just as much as the ones I have had for 4/5 of my life. Although I gained many of these friends less than a year ago we are already bosom friends (see Ann of Green Gables).
Some friends are best for having a good time, others are best for a serious talk, some are the best at comforting my woes; with some I reminisce about the past and with others I conjecture about the future. I cherish each one of these friendships and appreciate their diversity.
Since we've now moved to a city where our nearest friend is an hour away, I have to face the facts that I might need some additional friends at a closer proximity. I have had a bit of a bad attitude about this situation--I don't want to make new friends because I am perfectly happy with the friends I have. I also don't want to be comparing any new friends to the lofty friend standards I have set based on my current far-away friends. As I try to open my mind and heart and ready myself for embracing new people this song from elementary school continues to ring through my head:
Make new friends
And keep the old
One is silver and the other gold
A circle is round
It has no end
That's how long I want to be your friend
The things you learn at a young age have a funny way of being relavent and meaningful later in life.
Alright new friends, I'm as ready as I'll ever be!
I'm glad I can be your bosom friend, because it is the only bosom I am likely ever to have. Just be like Anne -- embrace your passionate weirdness and foist it with wild abandon on those around you. It worked for her, always going on about Wild Woodland Delight.
ReplyDeleteNow that I think about it, Anne and I have quite a few similarities. I can go on about Wild Woodland Delight--that sounds like just the type of thing I would talk about anyways!
ReplyDeletehehe I am just so happy that you quoted that song :) Now please, try to find a way to use "Oats Peas beans & Barley Grow" in a post and I will be even happier.
ReplyDeleteLove you and miss you friend! New friends will come.... :)
Leah
I think you should read the comment you just left on Mhana's blog and pretend I just left it on your blog.
ReplyDeleteBut seriously, we miss you. It hasn't bee the same without you guys and we hope you'll visit us soon. That said, I'm jealous of you guys living in Seattle. I'm POSITIVE you'll meet really cool people and get new friends. Your Eugene friends will still be here, and we won't get jealous.
Something I wish I had done when I first moved here was being more active about getting friends. I was just too depressed and stressed to feel like inviting people over. And it was a bit of a self-perpetuating cycle. Just pretend you are Emily or Annie and invite some randoms over for dinner.
Worst case scenario is that they will be totally weird and you can laugh at them later. But hopefully you'll find some cool people. I've decided to try it in my new ward. Because now that you and Ricky are gone, we're down to two friends again. And that's lame.
Motion--Well, the comment I just left on Mhana's blog was reminiscent of a comment Jake wrote on my blog, so maybe we all just need the same advice! Hah.
ReplyDeleteWe miss you too! I think we are going to come down there for Halloween weekend, so only like 3 weeks! Our updoor neighbors/landlords are really cool, and some of our other neighbors are cool too, but so far there isn't anybody that there's an instant click with--especially not at church. All of the young couples in our ward are fresh out of Utah, blech. I'm grateful that Seattle is a cool city so you all will come visit US!
It's hard to want to invite people over for dinner when your dining table seats 2, 3 at the most. I think you know how that feels though, right? I wish one of you guys was here to be the back up person, like you and Logan were supposed to be for us, remember? I'm trying to be brave, but it's hard and I only half want to make friends anyways. We shall see what happens.
Count your blessings, at least the two friends you have are awesome!