I'm feeling better about having a big cyst on my ovary. Sure, I still have those underlying feelings of worry about it; I still feel like my body has been invaded and I don't like it. But, my sweet husband has made me feel a lot better about the whole thing. Ricky keeps talking to my cyst, which he has named Reginald, and kindly asking it to go away. Also, when we are having a debate about what to eat or who should do the laundry, he brings Reginald into the discussion and insists that Reginald is siding with him. Every time I forget to do something or I do something clumsy (which are fairly constant occurances) I just blame Reginald. I am also blaming Reginald for the weird way I've been feeling a bit fat lately. It really could be him--certainly having an extra lime-sized bit of something in my body cannot be helping my figure. :) Since I can't do anything about the situation right now, at least it can be a source of laughter in our house.
We spoke in church today and it wasn't so bad. I actually felt really good about my talk and thought it was a decent combination of witty, informative, out-of-the-box, and spiritual. I didn't feel very emotional about it, I just didn't have the energy for that. I liked the topic that I spoke on and said some good things about continual learning, using our knowledge responsibily, and about making sure we serve people outside of the church just as much, if not more than those in it. I was even able to slip several good pro-environment messages into it, as well as a fairly good feminist bit and a shout out to the Oregon football team. I had the congregation chuckling on several occassions, so all in all I'd call it a success.
The most exciting news of the day is that we are going to Hawaii! Ricky has been to Hawaii 6 or 7 times but I have never been. I know that lots of people have never been to Hawaii so I know this is a wonderful priveledge. Ricky was able to travel a lot as a child and had a really good time. When I was younger I went camping a lot, visited family in other cities and states, and saw many beautiful State and National Parks. I never felt like I was missing anything and had a great time on every trip. That being said, we want to travel more. We definitely want to explore the scenic beauty in our local area, but we also want to go abroad and overseas. There is so much world to explore and so many other cultures to learn from. So, even though my parents haven't made it to Hawaii yet (I am confident that they both WILL), we are going. We have several goals that we want to accomplish before we have kids, two of which are going to Hawaii together and going to Europe together. Those are experiences that we want to have just for us, so we can hang on to them when life gets crazy with careers and crying children.
We are flying from Eugene to Honolulu in December and are staying for a whole week. We are lucky enough to be going with some of our favorite friends and I know we will have an absolute blast. I'm so excited!
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Friday, May 18, 2012
Cyst
Well, today was kind of poop.
As those of you who know me well know, I've been plagued with horrible nasty menstrual cramps since I was 13 years old. Anyways, I've had even worse cramps for the past few months to the point of fainting, barfing, and what feels like dying. Seriously, I should not be having such bad cramps that I pass out from sheer pain or have to lay in bed crying for two days.
So I had an ultrasound today. My uterous is fine and normal looking. There are no obvious signs of endometriosis and my IUD is placed appropriately, not embedded in the uterine wall (which is what I had feared). I do however have a pretty big cyst on my left ovary. Boo. Apparently, it's a complex cyst, which means that it has both fluid and tissue (as opposed to a simple cyst which is just fluid). The radiologist said that it appears to be a "functional" cyst, meaning that it is probably just a common thing that will probably go away on it's own, but that it might be a cystadenoma--a benign sort of tumor thing. The cyst is almost 6cm, which is fairly big (bigger than my actual ovary); laperoscopic surgery is often used to remove cysts over 5 cm.
So now I'm worrying about it. There is absolutely nothing I can do about it for the next three months, at which time they will do another ultrasound and see if it went away on its own or not. If so, hooray! If not, well, we shall see. Unfortunately, the doctor said that it is highly unlikely that the cyst is the culprit of my hideous cramps. So, not only is that mystery still unsolved, I just got something else to worry about.
One of my biggest fears is that I will, for some reason, be infertile, or that it will be a huge challenge to conceive. I have multiple dear friends that have been through and are going through that challenge and I do not envy them. Needless to say, when something goes wrong that has to do with my reproductive system, it puts me on edge.
Speaking of being on edge, Ricky and I have to speak in church on Sunday. I am absolutely dreading it. I have no motivation to put in the effort to write a talk and I feel like it's practically pointless to do so. Practically nobody at church even knows us at all, so it will be speaking very personally to a room full of strangers. I just don't feel like doing it. I don't feel supported there and I want to go home to Eugene right now, where people know me, love me, and think I'm great no matter what I say.
As those of you who know me well know, I've been plagued with horrible nasty menstrual cramps since I was 13 years old. Anyways, I've had even worse cramps for the past few months to the point of fainting, barfing, and what feels like dying. Seriously, I should not be having such bad cramps that I pass out from sheer pain or have to lay in bed crying for two days.
So I had an ultrasound today. My uterous is fine and normal looking. There are no obvious signs of endometriosis and my IUD is placed appropriately, not embedded in the uterine wall (which is what I had feared). I do however have a pretty big cyst on my left ovary. Boo. Apparently, it's a complex cyst, which means that it has both fluid and tissue (as opposed to a simple cyst which is just fluid). The radiologist said that it appears to be a "functional" cyst, meaning that it is probably just a common thing that will probably go away on it's own, but that it might be a cystadenoma--a benign sort of tumor thing. The cyst is almost 6cm, which is fairly big (bigger than my actual ovary); laperoscopic surgery is often used to remove cysts over 5 cm.
So now I'm worrying about it. There is absolutely nothing I can do about it for the next three months, at which time they will do another ultrasound and see if it went away on its own or not. If so, hooray! If not, well, we shall see. Unfortunately, the doctor said that it is highly unlikely that the cyst is the culprit of my hideous cramps. So, not only is that mystery still unsolved, I just got something else to worry about.
One of my biggest fears is that I will, for some reason, be infertile, or that it will be a huge challenge to conceive. I have multiple dear friends that have been through and are going through that challenge and I do not envy them. Needless to say, when something goes wrong that has to do with my reproductive system, it puts me on edge.
Speaking of being on edge, Ricky and I have to speak in church on Sunday. I am absolutely dreading it. I have no motivation to put in the effort to write a talk and I feel like it's practically pointless to do so. Practically nobody at church even knows us at all, so it will be speaking very personally to a room full of strangers. I just don't feel like doing it. I don't feel supported there and I want to go home to Eugene right now, where people know me, love me, and think I'm great no matter what I say.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Rested and Ready
I slept in until 10:30 yesterday and until 11:30 today. I don't think I've slept in that long for months and it felt glorious. I now feel rested and ready enough to get some things done around here, to play with my dog, and to brave the streets of Seattle on my own.
Tonight I am graduating from the Seattle Aquarium's volunteer training program! Woohoo for me! It actually was quite a bit of work. I spent roughly 25 hours in training at the Aquarium, about 6 hours at home doing online course modules, and several additional hours reading and exploring on my own. I've heard that their volunteer training program is recognized nationally as being awesome, so I'm really happy to be part of it. Being at the aqarium is my most favorite thing these days. It's so great to feel perfectly in one's element. I hope that my far off friends and family will visit us sometime this summer so that I can give you all a personally guided tour of the aquarium. There is so much to see and learn!
Here are just a couple of my favorite buddies, Barney and Woodstock.
After I get dressed and eat a bite of breakfast I am going to Swanson's Nursery. Swanson's is one of the best garden places I've ever been to, I like just wandering around and planning all of the plants and trees I will have when we have a yard of our own. I think I'll bring Lucy with me, just for funsies.
Three cheers for being able to do whatever I want!
Tonight I am graduating from the Seattle Aquarium's volunteer training program! Woohoo for me! It actually was quite a bit of work. I spent roughly 25 hours in training at the Aquarium, about 6 hours at home doing online course modules, and several additional hours reading and exploring on my own. I've heard that their volunteer training program is recognized nationally as being awesome, so I'm really happy to be part of it. Being at the aqarium is my most favorite thing these days. It's so great to feel perfectly in one's element. I hope that my far off friends and family will visit us sometime this summer so that I can give you all a personally guided tour of the aquarium. There is so much to see and learn!
Here are just a couple of my favorite buddies, Barney and Woodstock.
After I get dressed and eat a bite of breakfast I am going to Swanson's Nursery. Swanson's is one of the best garden places I've ever been to, I like just wandering around and planning all of the plants and trees I will have when we have a yard of our own. I think I'll bring Lucy with me, just for funsies.
Three cheers for being able to do whatever I want!
Monday, May 14, 2012
Sunshine and Freedom on the Puget Sound
It's been ages since I last blogged. To my few followers I am sorry for the lack of updates. To be completely honest, I was feeling so down in the dumps and sick of my situation that I could not even work up the energy to write at all. Fortunately things have begun to go my way, things are actually pretty good...imagine that.
For starters, I am no longer employed at the Pasta Warehouse (remember, this was an alias name)! Hooray! No more dark, windowless basements. No more occasional cocroach scuttling by my feet under my desk. No more counting other people's money. No more marinara and grease stained shirts or hideous non-slip shoes. I am free. I was able to give my general manager two and a half weeks separation notice and I worked faithfully to the end of my sentance. I did not burn any bridges either, in fact I built my resume and added to my list of people that will gush about me if asked by a future employer. Overall I would count these past six months as a success, despite my frequent feelings of loathing toward my job.
The second and most prominant source of my joyfulness comes from my new job (the reason I was able to quit the old one). As those of you whoe have spoken with me since I moved here know, I have had a really difficult time finding a job in the environmental field. I have looked and looked, applied, fasted, prayed, looked some more, applied some more, and fasted and prayed some more. It worked. I will say however, that it did not work until a very important thing happened--I volunteered. About two months ago I was at a point where I felt like I was going to be stuck at the Pasta Warehouse forever. I knew that something in my life needed to change for the positive. So, I thought to myself, if nobody will hire me to save the planet, I will try to save the planet for free. I joined the volunteer program at the Seattle Aquarium and fell in love with it. I was there because I wanted to make a positive impact on my local ecosystems and community, not for any monetary reasons. Within a week of starting the volunteer program (which is awesome) I was invited to interview at the Pacific Science Center and at Seattle Parks and Recreation. Within two weeks of that I was offered positions at both places. Imagine that, I go along with nothing, nothing, nothing, and then all of a sudden I could take my pick of jobs. I do not count that as a coincidence.
I chose the job with Seattle Parks and Rec. I am going to be working at a huge park (over 500 acres) that's only five minutes from our house. I am going to be helping to lead their children's nature camp for the summer. The job is 40 hours/week and pays significantly more than what I was making at my last job. Some of you may read this and think that being a glorified camp counselor sounds lame, but it is exactly what I want to be doing right now. This job has all of the things that I've been looking for in a job for years. It's a non-profit, I'll be working with elementary-age kids, I'll be helping design and build the camp curriculum, and most importantly I will be outside all of the time. I could not be happier with it.
I start my new job at the beginning of June, meanwhile I am taking a well-earned three weeks off. I will be hanging out at the aquarium and teaching people about octopuses, sea stars, sharks, and harbor seals. I plan on making a quilt, gardening, and brushing up on my tree, native plant, and bird identification. The beautiful sunshine we've been experiencing has cast my life in a bright and cheery glow. I am so relieved that I made it through the long, seriously dreary winter, and that the Lord resucued me from my nightmare of a job just when He knew I couldn't stand much more.
All that's left for now is for my dear husband to secure summer employment. He's waiting to hear back about a few internships, but as most of you know, waiting can be the toughest part of a journey.
While we are waiting patiently (as patiently as we can), we made a little trip to Salem over the weekend. It was my great-grandma's 90th birthday on Saturday! I feel so blessed to have had her in my life for so long. She is a beautiful, talented, and absolutely hilarious woman and I was so happy to celebrate with her. We were also very glad that we could see our mothers and step-mothers for Mother's Day and thank them for being so wonderful.
A special thanks goes out to some awesome friends that have helped cheer me up in these last couple of months. Jon Bletscher and Jen Nicola, thanks for being our awesomest friends in Seattle. We couldn't do it without your company. Leah Banick, thanks for 1) visiting me for a beautiful weekend of adventures 2) being such an amenable and fun house guest and 3) sticking by me for 18 years of friendship. I love you.
As a side note, I turned 23 last month. Since I felt 23 for all of year 22, nothing seems very different. Thanks to all of our friends who are older for thinking we are cool even though we are kind of babies. You're the best.
For starters, I am no longer employed at the Pasta Warehouse (remember, this was an alias name)! Hooray! No more dark, windowless basements. No more occasional cocroach scuttling by my feet under my desk. No more counting other people's money. No more marinara and grease stained shirts or hideous non-slip shoes. I am free. I was able to give my general manager two and a half weeks separation notice and I worked faithfully to the end of my sentance. I did not burn any bridges either, in fact I built my resume and added to my list of people that will gush about me if asked by a future employer. Overall I would count these past six months as a success, despite my frequent feelings of loathing toward my job.
The second and most prominant source of my joyfulness comes from my new job (the reason I was able to quit the old one). As those of you whoe have spoken with me since I moved here know, I have had a really difficult time finding a job in the environmental field. I have looked and looked, applied, fasted, prayed, looked some more, applied some more, and fasted and prayed some more. It worked. I will say however, that it did not work until a very important thing happened--I volunteered. About two months ago I was at a point where I felt like I was going to be stuck at the Pasta Warehouse forever. I knew that something in my life needed to change for the positive. So, I thought to myself, if nobody will hire me to save the planet, I will try to save the planet for free. I joined the volunteer program at the Seattle Aquarium and fell in love with it. I was there because I wanted to make a positive impact on my local ecosystems and community, not for any monetary reasons. Within a week of starting the volunteer program (which is awesome) I was invited to interview at the Pacific Science Center and at Seattle Parks and Recreation. Within two weeks of that I was offered positions at both places. Imagine that, I go along with nothing, nothing, nothing, and then all of a sudden I could take my pick of jobs. I do not count that as a coincidence.
I chose the job with Seattle Parks and Rec. I am going to be working at a huge park (over 500 acres) that's only five minutes from our house. I am going to be helping to lead their children's nature camp for the summer. The job is 40 hours/week and pays significantly more than what I was making at my last job. Some of you may read this and think that being a glorified camp counselor sounds lame, but it is exactly what I want to be doing right now. This job has all of the things that I've been looking for in a job for years. It's a non-profit, I'll be working with elementary-age kids, I'll be helping design and build the camp curriculum, and most importantly I will be outside all of the time. I could not be happier with it.
I start my new job at the beginning of June, meanwhile I am taking a well-earned three weeks off. I will be hanging out at the aquarium and teaching people about octopuses, sea stars, sharks, and harbor seals. I plan on making a quilt, gardening, and brushing up on my tree, native plant, and bird identification. The beautiful sunshine we've been experiencing has cast my life in a bright and cheery glow. I am so relieved that I made it through the long, seriously dreary winter, and that the Lord resucued me from my nightmare of a job just when He knew I couldn't stand much more.
All that's left for now is for my dear husband to secure summer employment. He's waiting to hear back about a few internships, but as most of you know, waiting can be the toughest part of a journey.
While we are waiting patiently (as patiently as we can), we made a little trip to Salem over the weekend. It was my great-grandma's 90th birthday on Saturday! I feel so blessed to have had her in my life for so long. She is a beautiful, talented, and absolutely hilarious woman and I was so happy to celebrate with her. We were also very glad that we could see our mothers and step-mothers for Mother's Day and thank them for being so wonderful.
As a side note, I turned 23 last month. Since I felt 23 for all of year 22, nothing seems very different. Thanks to all of our friends who are older for thinking we are cool even though we are kind of babies. You're the best.
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